Reflection Upon Our Allegiance
by Wings the Destroyer
Summary: Karkat reflects upon his dreams and has a mental breakdown and Gamzee realizes why his Moirail keeps breaking down. Rated due to language, just to be safe!


**A/N: This is NOT my story. My Moirail wrote it, and requested me to put it up here, since she sorta deleted her account eons ago. Enjoy! **

**Reflection Upon Our Allegiance**

hOnK...  
HoNk...  
honk...  
HONK...

Kakat lurched forward in a cold sweat. His eyes were squeezed shut, his fists clenched, his jaw grinding, and his back strained. It was always the same, every time he closed his eyes, his mind going over the images over and over again. The blood, the honks, the tears, and the bodies, everywhere, in every room…just there and there was nothing he could. He couldn't stop it, he was pathetic. A Hopeless leader, a terrible moirail…a mutant, nothing but a pathetic mutant who shouldn't even be alive. Karkat's hands moved upwards and clutched at his hair, his dull red tears rolling down his cheeks and his nose. He fucking hated this feeling, the feeling of desperation. Leader shouldn't be desperate. They have to be strong, wise, victorious, and confident.

Slowly, Karkat began to relax. He unclenched his fists from his hair and opened his eyes; he stayed slumped and crying. He raised a hand and wiped his tear-stained face. Looking up his brow furrowed, the shadows catching his attention. They never lied they also told the truth they hold. No…that wasn't right, they exaggerated the truth, much like people. Much like anything really. He stood and began to walk. With each step, his heart pounded. Why was he doing this? This was going to be disastrous…it always was. He froze looking at the archway he was heading for, his heart doing nothing but pounding, blood rushing to his ears. He scowled and clenched his fists again.

He grumbled. Why did he fear this so much? He's a troll for fuck sake! Confrontation was an absolute in this society…Or perhaps not. His eyes fell to the floor. Observing the cracks and crevices of each stone tile, he heaved a sigh. There go the weird thoughts again. Thoughts of a different world, images of a peaceful society, it was impossible, would never, no couldn't happen. But even so…he couldn't help but think of something peaceful, not necessarily losing their culture that they have, but better changing the importance of the spectrum, true equality for all. Karkat quickly shook his head. Ok this had to stop; this is turning into utter bullshit. His scowled returned and he looked up at the arch way. He took a breath and stepped forward.

The pounding returned, louder this time. God he couldn't think anymore. The pounding…the dream, FUCK! No! He grabbed his head and began to cry. No. No. No. He didn't want to see it anymore. None of it! This nightmare just refused to end. His back hit the wall, he hissed in pain and slid down into a crumpled pile. He still clung to his head and cried. His tears dripping and pooling on the floor, tears representing all they came to and all they came to lose. His sobs echoed through the dark hall, bouncing and falling to ears of curiosity. Footsteps joined in as chorus with the sobs and Karkat stiffened. Holding his breath the troll peered through his limbs and glanced upwards.

"Why…."

"…Fuck…"

"End..dammit"

"FUCK!"

Gamzee stopped. Was that…Karkat? He turned on his heel towards the echoing noise and paused at the sight. In a heap of drool and tears was Karkat. The warm blooded troll was quivering in fear and misery. Gamzee's brows knitted together, his scared face frowning in displeasure…this was his fault. His best bro…his moirail was sobbing uncontrollably because of him. Gamzee slowly crept toward the other troll and stopped again when he saw the other move. He watched Karkat gaze at him. He saw it, the fear ridden in his eyes. Fear he caused. He knelt down to sit beside Karkat, hoping to ease his suffering. Karkat did not move, only his eyes that drifted to watch Gamzee's movement.

Gamzee leaned his back against the wall and hummed. It was a soft, simple tune. No true reason to why, just something to calm Karkat. Karkat slowly lifted himself into a sitting position and slumped against the wall. Gamzee continued his tune only pausing to breathe. The smaller troll rested his head upon the clown's shoulder and began to hum with him. Karkat closed his eyes as he continued. He paused as he felt a hand run through his hair. The tune was still moving along and without missing another beat Karkat joined back in.

A smile fell to Gamzee's lips as his bro didn't shove him away when he started brushing through the little troll's hair. It was surprisingly soft and smiled strongly of the ocean. Gamzee blinked and smiled more. Now that was a miracle.

"Gamzee…." Gamzee looked down and saw Karkat snuggled into him and his eyes close. "Yeah bro?" Karkat buried his head into him muttering "You stopped humming." A small laugh left Gamzee. "I'm motherfucking sorry best bro, I got all up and distracted on you." "Hmmm…'tis…ok…just don't stop ok…." Karkat was fighting sleep. Not that Gamzee blamed him, but he smiled and continued to hum; pleased that despite all the odds, he can gives some comfort to his moirail.


End file.
